Year #1 in Seattle

Wow, one year has officially has passed. That was quite fast! But I can't believe on how poor I did for my classes. Shit. I let down my parents and myself. I know the reason why. But I am not going to tell. Not yet. I'm not ready.

Friends. Yes, being alone here in Seattle, friends are very important. But so far, I think the ones I hang out with is not my true friends, unfortunately. I still remember what my English 101 teacher, Mrs. Storms, said about my type of friends: "I guess they're are not your true friends." This thought has loomed in my head for about a year now and I couldn't shake it off. I find it hard to find true friends in this life.

I find that I am the type "friend" that is being made fun of and that's it. After that, I am ignored. For example, let's say "a" is my friend. Whenever I go out with him and "a" and I meets new friends, he would not hesitate, to talk about my embarrassing past. Thus the new friends' initial impression is that I am a complete asshole. My pride is destroyed and can never be rebuilt that its original state. I tried talking to "a" countless times about it, but sure as hell, "a" wouldn't budge. Great.

I think that this quarter, I am going to try to be an introvert this quarter and must get a good gpa. Also I must go to the gym and prepare for army.

So many things are going on in my mind that I chose not to write. So many things I want to say but cannot. It's just making this worse. It's the letting go part that is the hardest.

Week 1 is now finished and now onwards to week 2!